20 First Date Red Flags

You’re go-to guide to determine if he deserves a second date or if you should run like hell!

Wouldn’t it be nice to look into a magic ball and see the future of your relationships before you even go on the first date? Well, guess what- you can’t. But fear not, my friends. There are certainly some signs to look for, some glimmering beacons of hope! Some small hints at romance! Some tiny little clues like tiny little breadcrumbs leading you on the path to true love. But, those gleaming moments are not what this post is about. Oh no, no. This post is about when you should run and run like hell. It’s about those not-so-subtle indicators that scream, this one’s not THE one.

It’s not always easy to tell when a date deserves a second chance since, let’s be real, none of us are every always on our A game. Some of these red flags can be forgiven if everything else on your date is damn near perfect. So, in an effort to help, I’ve categorized these into three degrees of red-flaggery:

One Red Flag:

This isn’t the worst thing in the world- but it could be. It’s definitely something to keep an eye on during date number two.

Two Red Flags: No need to run screaming from your seat, but begin the fade away once you leave. No date number two for this guy.

Three Red Flags: Okay, now it’s time to run. Either end the date as quickly as possible or find a way to escape this schmuck.

Oh, and before I get the haters, these “he’s” below could very easily be “she’s”. I just happen to be a female who dates males and since this is my blog, I make the rules. But hey! If you want to write a list of “She” Red Flags, go for it! And send it to me! What’s up, shameless plug?

Here goes…

1. He’s always checking his phone. ONE RED FLAG ​Are you Swiping through Tinder? Are you texting your ex? Are you texting anybody who isn’t me? Regardless if it is a date or a friend, when someone is constantly focusing on their phone, they are not focusing on being in your company. RUDE.

​​2. He’s overly touchy. TWO RED FLAGS

​Get your hand off my thigh and stop trying to hold my hand. Casual knee graze or arm touch? Sure! But unless I’ve given you the go ahead, your hands should not being lingering anywhere on my bod. Back it up, bro

3. You know more about his ex than you do about him. THREE RED FLAGS

​​​​​​“And this other time, my ex…” Enough. If he’s thinking about her that much, he is not over her. Or at least he’s not healed from the pain. This can lead to all kinds of issues. That boy needs time to get over that girl.

4. You know more about him than you ever want to know about anyone. TWO RED FLAGS ​​​​Bragging is a major turnoff. Yes, talk about yourself, but don’t act like you’re all that and a bag of chips… unless you actually bring a bag of chips. Don’t tell me you’re confident. Exude it. Now, that’s sexy.

5. He describes his wedding plans to you in detail. THREE RED FLAGS

​​​​​​Let’s take a moment to reflect on The Wife Hunter. It’s one thing to be looking to settle down. It’s another thing to be planning to propose on date #2. This guy is just looking for someone- anyone. Run. Fast.

6. He brings up something incredibly personal. TWO RED FLAGS

​​​​This is also known as oversharing. Listen, we’ve all got baggage of some kind, but we barely know each other. I’m all about being open and honest, but on a first date I’m trying to figure out what kind of movies you like, not read your autobiography. This dude is also not over his past.

7. He assumes you’re going to have sex. THREE RED FLAGS ​​​​​​You meet at his place for drinks, he gives you a tour, and when he gets to his bedroom he tries to stick his hands down your pants. WHAT?! Now you’re definitely not getting any. It’s enough to make you want to quit men.

8. He whips out an unsolicited dick pic. TWO RED FLAGS

​​​​Sometimes I wonder why so many men are just dying to show us pictures of their junk. We are not your boys at the gym. Put that shit away. I mean, have you ever looked at a penis out of context? It’s like a menacing overgrown mushroom. You’re not doing yourself any favors.

9. He doesn’t let you eat when you say you’re hungry. THREE RED FLAGS

​​​​​​A friend of mine went to meet a guy for drinks. When she said she was hungry, he said they weren’t going to get food but ordered them more drinks instead. So, are you just trying to get me drunk? Getting between a girl and her food will not end well for you, brother.

10. He’s already half drunk when you get there. ONE RED FLAG

​​I went out with a guy once who kept ordering drinks so that he could hold our table at a crowded bar while I was in traffic. He was a bit tipsy when I got there, and we had a good laugh about it. It was kind of endearing. But another time, it was not so cute. Keep an eye on the guy who drinks in excess on the first date.

11. He doesn’t like avocado or peanut butter. ONE RED FLAG

​​Okay, so that might be a little specific, but a girl has got to have standards! The point here is to be wary if he hates things that you really love. Especially things that everyone loves… like peanut butter and avocados. And Tom Hanks. What kind of life is that?! Plus, if it ends up in a group text, you know it’s serious.

12. He talks to the mirror and not to you. TWO RED FLAGS

​​​​THIS IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST PET PEEVES! You look fine! And you look the same as you did two seconds ago when you last looked in the mirror… or the glass door… or anything reflective! Go date yourself, Narcissus!

13. He tries too hard to be gentlemanly. ONE RED FLAG

​​I like my men to have manners. Yes, hold the door. Yes, pull out my chair. Yes, offer to pay. But don’t follow me to the bathroom to hold that door. And don’t dive onto my jacket so you can help me into it. It’s nice to show respect, but I am capable to doing these things myself. Some guys just try too hard (cough cough, Batman). If you miss the opportunity, take a breath. It’s going to be okay.

14. He doesn’t try to be gentlemanly at all. TWO RED FLAGS

​​​​Guys, there’s got to be some balance here. Offer to pay for a round, I’ll buy the next one. Modern women aren’t looking to be taken care of, but we want to know we aren’t going to be carrying all the weight. Make the effort, guys. We’ll reciprocate. I’ll take care of you, if you take care of me. Oh, and don’t buy me dinner just to get sex. We see right through that.

15. He’s rude to the staff. THREE RED FLAGS

​​​​​​Deal breaker. So they messed up your order. It happens. If he loses his temper over a small matter, imagine how he’ll flip when something bigger happens. Leave a big tip and walk out.

16. He checks out the ass of every girl that passes. TWO RED FLAGS

​​​​This goes back to number 1. If you’re going to be out with me, then be out with me. I don’t care whose ass you look at on your own, but if we’re on a date you better pretend not to notice. Unless JLo walks by. Then let me know so that I can look too.

17. He’s obviously not the person you met online. THREE RED FLAGS

​​​​​​His pictures were a solid ten, but that's not the guy here. It’s not the looks I have a problem with, it’s the deliberate lie. I'm going to notice. To me, this screams lack of confidence and nothing is less attractive than trying to hide who you are because you’re uncomfortable with yourself.

18. He tells you something you like is stupid. TWO RED FLAGS

​​​​I’m a soccer player and, unless it’s World Cup time, I cannot tell you how often men tell me that soccer is stupid. Oh yeah, high school football star? How’s that varsity letter jacket? Does it still fit? Did you wear it when you got drafted to the NFL? I don’t care if you like Water Polo or Needlepoint. Variety is the spice of life. Stop being a judgmental asshole.

19. He constantly looks at your boobs… or doesn’t look at them at all. ONE RED FLAG

​​The first part of this is a no brainer. Please talk to ME when we’re chatting. However, I put a lot of effort into this outfit. I wore the jeans that make my butt look good and the shirt that compliments the girls. I should catch you noticing… at least once.

20. You’re just not feeling it. TWO RED FLAGS

​​​​Look, you could be on a date with a great guy, having a fine time, but something just doesn’t feel right. We’ve got instincts for a reason and that feeling is never wrong. When you’re on a date, you better be dying to makeout with that guy. Go get it, girl. If you don’t feel like that, walk away. There are plenty of other fish to makeout with.

#thebad #redflags #datingadvice