I'm Thankful I'm Single
- Nov 26, 2015
- 4 min read
I’m thankful for a lot of things thing year, but mostly I’m thankful I’m single AF. Here’s why.
Like most of you, I’m sure, I like to take some time this week to think about all the things that I am thankful for at this very moment in my life. Of course, I’m thankful for my health, my family, and my friends, but I’m also thankful I was able to escape The Wife Hunter, I’m thankful for that view at The Catfish’s, and I am (very) thankful for Magic Mike.
I'm also thankful for being single as fuck.
Rules of Ungagement isn’t just about terrible and awesome dates, it’s about the things I’ve learned on my journey through newfound independence. It’s about taking a breath and looking at the world around me through new eyes. It’s about inspiring other women (and men) to be single and feel amazing.
"We’re saying a loud and resounding YES to being single as fuck."
So, on that journey through singledom, here are the things for which I’ve discovered I am incredibly thankful.
1. ALONE TIME Seriously. Leave me alone, sometimes. I love to cuddle and I enjoy being social, but sometimes, good LAWD I just want some quiet! I’ve become bffs with my inner voice now that we’ve been spending some quality time together, and I have to tell you, we really understand each other. I know she needs to be kept active and healthy, and she knows not to get between me and fresh baked goods. It’s been nice hanging out with me – without another voice in the mix.
I’m thankful I’m listening to myself.
2. DISCOVERY Should I get the bangs? Should I go on a vacation alone? Should I trust Magic Mike when he tells me to turn around? Eh, I love these bangs but the upkeep’s a bitch, that vacation was amazing, and no I certainly do not like that, Magic! Relationships can become routine, but there’s something about being newly single that shakes up the tried and true. Having to create a new future made me more daring and more brazen. It’s amazing what I’ve learned about what I like (and what I definitely don’t like).
I’m thankful for welcoming new opportunities.
3. CATCHING UP I didn’t realize how many of my friends I had shut out during my breakup, mostly because I wanted them to think everything was all sunshine and unicorns. But when I was by myself, I grabbed my phone and thought about who I hadn’t seen in a while. It was like supercharging my squad! Now, I definitely owed some of those people an explanation about why I’d been MIA and maybe a few apologies were in order. But the thing with good friends is, they know you. They understand. And don’t you dare forget these people when you’re in another relationship because that’s just straight up shitty. They’re the ones who will be there even without the sunshine and unicorns. (Yeah, you know who you are.)
I’m thankful for getting to know my friends all over again.
4. SAYING NO No. Say it again. Say it loudly. Say it to yourself in the mirror and get used to saying no right into someone’s eyes so they know you mean it. Get comfortable saying no and not apologizing for it. You do not have to go on another date because he brought you flowers, you do not have to accept living a life that does not make you happy, you do not have to have that third slice of pizza (although it really would be delicious, but NO!). When you’re living for yourself, you are obligated to make decisions with your best interest in mind. This means having the ability to say a big FUCK NO to things you do not want in your life- whether that’s a spiraling toxic relationship, or the job offer that you know will make you miserable.
I’m thankful for being selfish and NO I’m not apologizing for it!
5. SAYING YES Yes! Yes, I deserve to be happy, yes, I want to adopt those two kittens, yes, I can afford those beautiful camel colored leather boots! Come on now, you can’t say “no” to everything! In fact, you should say yes to a lot of things. Yes, you should take a chance on the nice guy. Yes, you should book a week long vacation to a city you’ve been dying to see. Yes, you should take a class and start a blog and meet all kinds of amazing readers and followers and fellow bloggers who have stories to tell and advice to share and laughs to be had and run on sentences to correct! Yes, yes, yes! You should live your life the way YOU want to live your life and yes you should say FUCK YES to doing things your way!
I’m thankful for saying YES to myself!
Because the truth is, if you’re going to be in a relationship again, you still need to know when to say yes and when to say no, but you’re going to have to be able to listen to yourself and know when each is appropriate. You should still be discovering things about yourself, with or without a partner, and of course, you should always be blowing shit up with your best buds. Then again, hell, you may love being single so much you never want to be in a relationship again! Hmm.
But right now, at this moment in my life, I am thankful for being single as fuck. I am thankful for this outlet. And I am thankful that you guys are with me for the journey.
…and I’m still thankful for Imodium.
What are you thankful for this holiday season?
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