Masturdating - The Art Of Dating Yourself

Lots of women are doing it, so go ahead! Take yourself out on a date! Here’s how.

Alright, everybody calm down. As soon as someone utters a word that sounds like – brace yourself - masturbation, people start getting all uncomfortable and squirmy. Even my computer is uncomfortable. It’s telling me that – get ready for it – masturbation is spelled wrong. What? No, it’s not! So, now here I am typing it into Google to make sure I’m spelling it correctly, a huge mistake, I assure you. Aaaaand clearing search history…

But calm your minds, my friends. Today, I’ll be discussing masturDATING – the art of dating yourself. Since I’ve been single and Ungaged, I’ve really learned to embrace the fine art of taking myself out on dates. There were so many times in the beginning when I wanted to go someplace, grab a drink, try a new restaurant, or go see a movie, but had nobody to go with. It’s the curse of the single girl - all ya’ll are married and I’m sitting here with wine, my cats, my Grey’s Anatomy reruns, and my thumb up my ass.

Well, it wasn’t long until I thought, wait a second, why am I home? I want to grab a drink at a bar. I want to go see that terrible action film starting The Rock, I want to wear my favorite jeans and a smart blazer and go out to that restaurant with the good martinis and the ridiculously delicious waiter. I mean steak… same thing.

Confession time – masturdating can be juuuuuuust a smidge awkward at first. But the good news is, once you do it a few times, it’s really one of the best things you can do for yourself. You can bring your computer, you can do it with a book, or you can just enjoy being there in the moment by yourself. (Starting to feel squirmy yet?) Lucky for you, this is one of my favorite things about being single, so here are some tips from a seasoned masturdater.

(By the way, I bet my mother is blushing while reading this right now. Hi mom!)

1) Lunch time is perfect Dinner time is usually filled with couples and large groups, so taking yourself to dinner can be a little intimidating, especially if you haven’t been out alone much. But lunch is totally the sweet spot. Every time I’ve taken myself out in the middle of the day, there are always at least two other people enjoying their alone time as well. Bonus: lunch menus are usually cheaper than dinner menus, and since you’re not splitting the bill with anyone, you’re in for a win-win. Talk about an afternoon delight!

2) Enjoy the view One of the perks of living right outside Manhattan is the access to plenty of restaurants and cafes that are either on the water of have views of the city. But I’ve also taken to places that face an interesting part of town to do some serious people watching, or I’ll grab takeout and head to a nearby park. Often when we’re with friends or a partner, we focus solely on our company – as we damn well should! But that also means that sometimes we forget to take a look around. Dating yourself allows you to soak in all the beauty of the everyday.

See? Even Leo agrees, so it must be true.

3) Get some work done… for YOU If you’ve never taken yourself out on a date before, ease into it by bringing your computer or a book. You can think of it as a safety blanket if you’d like, but this is also a super productive way to get work done… for you. Leave your actual work at the office – you are on a date for crying out loud. But, I so love that I can do some casual reading or blogging while someone is bringing me snacks and beer or coffee. I mean, seriously, how awesome is that?

4) Get to know yourself

Ok so, no. I probably wouldn’t recommend talking to yourself out loud at a restaurant, but definitely take some time to just enjoy being you. You can order whatever you want because nobody is going to judge you if you really just want a salad or if you want to get french fries AND onion rings. Let yourself sob uncontrollably into your popcorn at the latest Nicholas Sparks movie, even if you did wear a hooded sweatshirt just in case you recognize anybody. Heck, dress it up and take yourself out for a drink if you feel like it! And, if that makes you a little uncomfortable, you can always tell the bartender your friend cancelled plans on you last minute and you were already on your way. This will usually get you a free drink… not that I know from experience or anything.

5) Strike up a conversation

One thing you’ll learn almost immediately about masturdating is that you’re not the only one who does it (sorry, I couldn’t resist one last innuendo). There’s this group of people who all individually frequent the same coffee shop that I do and we’ve become friends just by all being by ourselves together. We love investing our energy in the people with whom we surround ourselves, but when you take yourself out, you never know what kind of interesting people you might meet if you’re willing to engage in conversation.

Remember, when you’re going out on a date with yourself, you’re there because you deserve to be taken out and to be treated like a queen. So, whether that means spending time with a book, soaking in a beautiful view, allowing yourself to indulge in your guilty pleasures, or striking up a chat with the older woman sitting next to you, never forget to allow yourself to experience the new and exciting opportunities that present themselves to you, just you. Because that is something special.

#startingover #thegood #independence