10 Things That Happen When You Stop Dating

Some very unexpected – and pretty damn awesome – things happen when you quit swiping, delete all your dating apps, and stop dating.

When I was ready to get back in the game after an epic breakup, I dated… a lot. I dated so much I started to forget whose number was already in my phone. I dated so much that I had to give each guy a nickname so my friends could keep track. I dated so much that I actually got tired of dating. Guys, I dated so much I was able to start a whole blog about it.

Now, let’s just be clear here – when I say dating, I do not mean sleeping with. For some people, these are one in the same, but for me they are definitely not. I mean, let’s not forget about the time I thought it would be a good idea to wear some platform heels and a mini skirt and was mistaken for a hooker. This post isn’t called 10 Things That Happen When You Stop Having Sex (although, now I’ve got a new post idea), it’s about 10 very unexpected – and pretty damn awesome – things that happen when you quit swiping, delete all your dating apps, and stop dating.

1) You experiment with hair removal. I thought waxing was going to be the end all be all to my hair removal woes. For two weeks, everything was great! But the next two weeks? Holy stubbly jungle, Batman! And then you have to wait another two weeks. Oh, and that shit hurts! The good news is, since nobody’s going to be seeing you naked, you have all the time in the world to try it all – waxing, laser, creams, threading – and if you have a reaction, don’t get your panties in a bunch… they’re not going anywhere anyway. Eventually, you’ll find the right method, and when you do – hallelujah!!

2) You try different styles. You’re not trying to impress some new guy after work, so you don’t need to worry about bringing your outfit from day to evening. Want to try thick rimmed glasses? Go for it. Feel like getting some forehead fringe? Go get your hair did. Dying to try those studded rhinestone platforms? Have a blast! Go ahead and redefine your style and truly grow into your own. You actually can now without giving it a second thought (and let’s be real, we all do when we’re dating). You’ll find some stuff that’s definitely not you, but you’ll also discover things that so genuinely are. So do it. Love it. And own it.

3) You wonder why you wasted time on a guy who wasn’t right for you. What the hell was that all about? When you’re looking for a match, you’re willing to overlook some of the not-so-becoming characteristics of the guy you’re dating. Then, suddenly (and by suddenly I mean after lots of crying, alcohol, and bad decisions), it’s like the clouds part, and the skies clear, and you wonder, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?! When you stop worrying about dating and start thinking about what you really want, you move on to number 4…

4) You raise your standards. Taking a step back from dating gives you a hot second to think back on your past dating experiences. Want to try a fun game? Pick the one characteristic from each of your exes that you’d like to have in your next partner. Then, remind yourself of the one characteristic from each of your exes that you absolutely refuse to allow in your life anymore. Sure, you’ve just constructed your unrealistic Dream Man, but more importantly, you’ve prioritized what you’re looking for, AND what you absolutely refuse to accept. Now, that’s powerful.

5) You stop scanning every room for hot guys.

You all know you have this friend, and if you don’t, then I have news for you – YOU are probably that friend. You go to a bar to catch up, but as soon as you sit down, your girl is looking around for any fine and spicy piece of meat – and I’m not talking about rodizio. All you want to do is yell out, HELLO! I’M HERE! Aren’t you tired of craning your neck? Don’t you realize you look like a total weirdo? Nobody flips their hair around that much unless they have a nervous twitch. Hey lady, turn it off once in a while and let’s just bitch about our thighs while we order nachos and lava cake, ok?

6) You start making your own plans instead of waiting for someone to call. Staying home with no plans gets really old, really fast. It’s easy to call up someone you’re dating to go do the fun things you want to do. But when you’ve got no date to call and all your friends are wifed up, what are you supposed to do, just stay home? Hell no! Fill up your calendar with events, movies, sports teams, festivals, museums, free time, nap time, and some good old YOU time.

7) Your battery and data last WAY longer. Can we just talk about how much data online dating uses?! Looks like I can’t call an Uber. Why? Because some ass wanted to send me a poorly lit and terribly angled picture of his nether regions? More like nether wanted to see that. Single life means I get to keep my data charges down and my battery level up.

8) You have time to yourself. No joke, one of my favorite things about being single is walking around my place naked. Sure, I might do this while I’m dating someone too, but it would have a totally different effect. I’m talking unsexy undies, a non matching bra, hair in a towel, clay mask on, singing Whitney Houston (and sounding just like her too, of course), and just absolutely loving spending time with myself. I make my own timeline, my own dinner decisions, stay in when I want, and go out when I want. And the only person I need to answer to is me. Just me.

9) You wondering if you’ll ever want to date again.

Dating is great and all, but NOT dating is even greater and all…er. At first it’s a little odd because you’re so used to looking for a mate, but then all of the sudden, you realize you don’t need another person to complete you. You’re already complete. Your friends who are still wifed up keep complaining about socks being left around the house or meeting their significant other’s parents. Soon, leaving work on time to meet your kickball team before heading home to enjoy some delicious takeout with your cats sounds oh so good. So good in fact, you think you might just want to be single forever.

10) You start to feel super effing hot. Yup. Not trying to impress anyone but yourself is crazy fucking powerful. Go ahead. Quit dating, figure out what you want, raise your standards, learn to be yourself, and become your best You. The You you’ve always wanted to be. Clear all the crap out of the way and take some time to yourself. When you feel internally powerful, strong, and awesome, you will feel seriously effing hot. The boys will come a runnin’, but it’s up to you to decide if you want them or not. Afterall, if you’re going to give up some of your freedom for a guy, he’d better be top notch, cream of the crop, Chris Hemsworth wearing no shirt while playing with a small puppy asking you to tell him about all your inner thoughts kind of perfection. You will settle for nothing less.

Clearly, he’s giggling because he’s reading this blog post… about him

#startingover #thegood #independence