Rules Are Rules - Mom's First Date

A very special post for Mothers Day – my mom’s first date.

"Holy shit! Is this real? Jimmy’s asking ME OUT? And in front of Mom. It’s got to be OK, right? Wrong.

For me, my circle of friends included children of my parents’ friends. It was safe and comfortable, for both the kids and their parents. We belonged to a social club where all the dads were veterans of World War II. So of course all the kids attended all social functions. The club grounds had a pool and we all enjoyed growing up and spending our summers there. And the crushes evolved. There was Jimmy. Cute, friendly, good diver, great swimmer, you know a teen-aged girl’s dream! And our parents knew each other so it felt safe to talk about him to my family.

One rule for me in my parents’ house was “No dating until you are 16.” I couldn’t wait to be 16.

Two weeks before my 16th birthday, for some reason I don’t remember, my mom and I were outside my house. Down the street comes Jimmy in his car. Oh, my heart jumped! He pulls his car over says hello to my mom and me. Some small talk about how his parents are. Then he asks, ” You want to go to the movies or something?”

Holy shit! Is this real? Jimmy’s asking ME OUT? And in front of Mom. It's going to be OK, right? Wrong.

“Well, you’re not 16 yet.” “But it’s just two weeks!” “He’ll have to come back then.”

I was crushed. I turned to Jimmy and said “Sorry. Ask me again in two weeks.” He never did.

Some months later, and well after my 16th birthday, I got to go on my first date. His name was John. He was a friend of a girlfriend’s boyfriend. He was unknown to my family. He was so cool. Long shaggy hair, tall, older, he was 22, and out of college. Oh boy, stepping on dangerous ground here. I told my parents he was 18, and in college, going to be a teacher. Made him sound safe. This was OK. So we made a date. He was picking me up on Friday at 8. We were going to the movies to see “Helter Skelter”. Ok, good so far. Friday comes and I am so excited, but I need to be cool. Remember he’s older. I don’t want to look like a baby or too naïve and that was top on my list. Look and act mature.

Then a bomb falls. “Remember you have to be home by 9:30.” 9:30??? What the fuck? How am I going to do this? Go on a date with this older guy, look cool and mature, AND be home at 9:30? But rules were rules.

So, I started to get ready for my date. It was summer. I wore a pair of shorts, (really they were hot pants. If anyone from this time remembers them, they were SHORT), cute puckered cropped top, and clogs (it was the 70’s). I was hysterically crying and trying to put make up on. How am I gonna pull this off? My oldest brother came into my room and asked what was wrong. Ugh!

“Mom says I have to be home by 9:30. Think you can change her mind? ” "You know mom. That’s impossible. Have fun on your date.”

Let’s take a look at this. I wasn’t permitted to go on a date with Jimmy, who my parents knew, because I wasn’t 16 yet. But I was allowed to go out with this John guy who NO ONE knew. And… get this, my outfit! Hot pants, cropped-top, and I wasn’t wearing a bra (I didn’t need one anyway). No one blinked an eye at that! But rules were rules.

It’s approaching 8. I go down to the kitchen to find it full of people. Mom, Dad, Grandma & Grandpa, who lived with us, and my aunt. My mom called her sister to witness this major event in my life …MY FIRST DATE . Is this for real? I didn’t feel so cool, or mature. This was not fun.

A car pulls up, a cool car. Out steps John, my heart is pounding, not from infatuation but from embarrassment. He is surely going to think I am a baby, not cool. Another rule, no horn beeping. The guy must come in and say hello. That’s not such a bad one. But not cool either!

Introductions are made and we finally were ready to leave. “Don’t forget, 9:30.” “I’ll explain, let’s go.”

So we leave. Well… you know the scene in the movies, at the end of a wedding, when EVERYBODY is waving at the departing newlyweds? Yup! That’s what it looked like. All those people who were in the kitchen were waving goodbye… SO NOT COOL!

“Yeah, well, sorry but I need to be home by 9:30. Those are the rules.” “We’re not going to be able to see the movie, so let’s go get some iced tea, and I’ll show you the birthday cake house.” “Birthday cake house? “Yeah, it’s cool.”

We got iced tea, and drove to an affluent neighboring town to see this round house with pillars all around it. It did look like a birthday cake. And then… he took me home. It wasn’t 9:30 yet. We pulled up in front of the house.

I thanked him for the fun time (who was I kidding). I told him it was ok, he didn’t have to walk me to the door. I’m not sure who wanted this to end this faster, me or him. I walked into the house holding back tears. My brother was home.

He rushed to me and said, “Why are you home? Did he try something? Do I have to chase him.” “No, it’s 9:30, my curfew.” I went to the basement where my mom was putting away groceries. “I’m home.” “How was it?” She asked. “So cool!” I lied. “He showed me a house that looks like a birthday cake. We couldn’t see the movie because I had to be home. I’m going to bed. Good night”. And I cried myself to sleep.

I didn’t expect him to call again. And he never did.

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Don’t worry, readers… Mom’s done just fine for herself without this John character. She’s got lots of great date stories. I’ll try to convince her to tell you why she can’t even smell rum & coke anymore.

#firstdate #thebad